Part 1: Alone

"You’re pregnant."

For many, those two little words are the most joyful, hopeful, love-filled message they could ever hear. A long-awaited answer to prayer. 

For others, such words carry despair, fear, and a burden seemingly too heavy to bear. When you’re a single teenager, they have the power to crush your soul.

That’s exactly how I felt when the doctor told me.

Mind-numbing fear gripped me as I left the doctor's office. I don’t even remember the drive home, or how I ended up on the back deck with my parents. I just remember my view of the world was bleary with tears, and my voice shook as I sobbed those two little words I knew my parents didn’t want to hear.

I had always heard silence can be deafening, but in that moment, I finally grasped the meaning. My heart was beating out of my chest as I waited for a response.

"You cannot live here anymore." 

I don’t remember where I went or how I got there. But as I lay curled up in the backseat of my car that night, I thought I would drown in my tears. I shook with fear, remorse, and an anguish I didn’t know was possible. The searing summer heat was nothing compared to the fire of embarrassment I felt.

What about my future? What about my dreams of going to college in the fall? It all seemed so far away.

I was "knocked up," and for the first time in my life, I knew what “alone” really meant. 

(Note: This blog is written by a Crossroads partner who wishes to remain anonymous. The account is entirely true.)